You know you're getting old when you cheer upon discovering John Hughes's classic 1985 teen movie The Breakfast Club is on television on a Saturday night. It's one of my all-time favourite movies, but the five high school students had barely settled into their detention chairs in the library when I realized that this movie isn't quite what I remembered from years ago.
"Why don't you go close that door? We'll get the prom queen impregnated, " says bad boy John Bender to wrestling star Andrew Clark. Uh, what's this now? Gang rape threat? Yep, now that I am a parent, I watched this movie through an entirely different lens, and many scenes just plain irk me now.
Seven things from The Breakfast Club that irk me now
The Larry Lester bun taping incident
Andrew, your father does sound like a bit of a tyrant, but he did not force you to tape Larry Lester's hairy buns together. He wasn't even there in that locker room. He didn't even suggest it. Stop blaming your parents! They're doing the best they can.
"My home life is unsatisfying"
Basket case Allison laments that her home life is "unsatisfying" because her parents "ignore" her. Uh, Allison, perhaps they are busy working to put a roof over your head, food in the cupboard and clothes on your back. Go spend some time with sick kids in a hospital. Volunteer at a food bank. Paint a picture. Tell your parents how you feel. Offer to help them out around the house. Enough already with the obsessive navel gazing!
The jerk teacher Richard Vernon
Why is this teacher such a one-dimensional, horrible characterization of the dedicated people who teach our children? Mr. Vernon swears at Bender, threatens to beat him up and treats all the students with palpable disdain. What an incredibly disappointing character for a movie that is about how we shouldn't cast people into shallow categories.
A Cap'n Crunch and sugar sandwich on fluffy white bread! Why can't I eat stuff like that anymore? Why? So not fair.
Sony D-EJ106CK Walkman Portable CD Player with Car Kit (Silver)
Network Media Player (Sony)