English Breakfast

A lot of men will insist that they don’t want Father's Day to be a big deal.

Take note: These men are lying.

Not only do they want a big deal made over them, they specifically want it made over their breakfast—and there are a few good reasons for this.

First, since Dad is probably getting a tie, he’s not emotionally invested in a gift. Second, when you have kids, no meal suffers more than breakfast (because little people are biologically designed to be at their most active and attention-starved early in the day.) ? Exactly.

So, this Father’s Day, consider breakfast for a change. Here are five ideas for what to make that everyone (especially Dad) will like:

True story: Fatherly’s first office was down the street from Four & Twenty Blackbirds, a Brooklyn bakery famous for its pies but known to aficionados for the form of its cinnamon rolls (which are basically perfect). I got my coffee there every morning and waged an internal war to avoid buying one (you know, #dadbod and all that). One day, it all became too much and I stared just a bit too longingly at the pastry case. The nice lady behind the counter asked if I wanted anything, and I snapped, “Yes, I want a punchcard that you punch every day that I come in here and don’t buy a cinnamon roll, and on the eleventh punch, I want ALL the cinnamon rolls.”

She thought I was weird.

There are 2 kinds of people in the world: waffle people and pancake people. There’s something a little cosmopolitan about a waffle compared to a pancake. The latter is quintessentially American, while the former requires fancy gear and has a vague European affectation to it. My father is a dyed-in-the-wool waffle man, but his rationale has its own country charm to it (ironic, considering he is a suburban Jew): Waffles are the superior maple syrup delivery vehicle, and maple syrup is something my dad takes very seriously. He prefers Grade B (C if you can get it), and if it comes from even one mile beyond the Vermont border, don’t bother taking the cap off. Sunday waffles were a tradition in my house (as you might imagine).

Actually, there’s a third kind of person in the world: waffle and pancake people. I’m that kind.

Breakfast tacos are a great Father’s Day breakfast because they're fun for kids to eat and there’s something a little dangerous about having them for breakfast. You can tell your children with a mischievous grin, “We’re having breakfast for dinner!” and they won’t know until they’re in college that it actually means you don’t know how to cook anything else.